Hoping for a Miracle | Esperando un Milagro

I have been going over and over this in my mind. Trying to find the right words. I am not exactly sure I will ever find the words to adequately say what I, we, are feeling right now. This weekend has been a roller coaster of emotions to say the least. We have cried more than we have in a long time, there is so much to process.

Last month we had our 20 week sonogram. As most of you know, we are having a boy! Everything looked great on the sonogram, but this little guy was moving around so much the sono tech could not get a good look at his heart. She scheduled us to come back a month later to get a better look. I was a bit suspicious of this second sonogram being that it was out of the ordinary, but I didn’t worry too much about it since my doctor did not seem concerned. The follow-up sonogram was a week ago. After looking at baby boy’s heart, the sono tech immediately noticed that something did not seem right. The tech and my doctor explained that the sonogram was not showing a clear picture of all 4 chambers of our baby’s heart. My doctor said not to worry, that it could be a misread, but she wanted me to see a specialist for a fetal heart echo to get a closer look at his heart. Basically, it would be a precautionary measure to rule out a problem with his heart.

Our appointment with the fetal heart specialist was scheduled for the following Friday, a full week away. Although we had questions, both Beto and I were pretty peaceful about the upcoming appointment. Friday came around and it was time for the sonogram and a fetal heart echo. The diagnosis was almost immediate. Our sweet boy has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS). This is a heart condition where the left side of the heart did not develop properly or continue to grow with the right proportions. Right now, he is in the safest possible place. He is growing right on schedule and everything (other than the left side of his heart) looks perfect. While the left side of his heart is not working, he is safe in utero thanks to the placenta supplying oxygen-rich blood to his body. After birth, however, this will be a different story. With the use of his lungs comes the need for both sides of his heart for blood to flow to the lungs and to the rest of his body. Our son will undergo 3 major open-heart surgeries by the time he’s 3. The first of which, will be in his very first week of life. Another at 4-9 months of age and the final phase anywhere from 18 months to 4 years old based on his growth rate. These surgeries will allow the right side of his heart to do all the work. A shunt will be put in place to allow blood flow throughout the heart and to the lungs and body. The medical technology for these surgeries is only about 20 years old, but there has been a really great success rate, especially here in Dallas. We’ve been told countless times that we are in the right place for this type of surgery. Since the procedure is relatively new, the oldest patients are in their late teens and early twenties.  Around the fifteen to twenty year mark most of these patients’ hearts have become tired from the unconventional overworking of the right side, leading to heart failure and the need for a heart transplant.

Needless to say, all of this has been a major shock. Beto and I are so grateful for the support of our friends and family. We have felt so much love and care from those around us already this weekend. We know that we will need it all the more in the months to come. As I sit and type these words I wish so much that I would wake up to find it was all an awful dream, that this isn’t real, that all of our plans and expectations as first time parents would not include such major hurdles. We are hoping for a miracle. That one of the multiple appointments between now and birth would reveal that our son’s heart is whole, complete, restored, and healthy. We so deeply appreciate your thoughts and prayers. We need them desperately.

 

For our Spanish speaking friends:

He estado repasando esto en mi mente, tratando de encontrar las palabras adecuadas. No estoy segura si algún día podré encontrar las palabras indicadas para decir lo que estoy, lo que estamos, sintiendo en estos momentos. Este fin de semana ha sido un subibaja de sentimientos. Hemos llorado más de lo que habíamos llorado en mucho tiempo, hay tanto por considerar.

El mes pasado tuvimos nuestro sonograma de 20 semanas. Como muchos de ustedes saben, ¡vamos a tener un niño! Todo se veía en orden de acuerdo al sonograma, pero el pequeñito se estaba moviendo tanto que la operadora no pudo lograr una buena vista del corazón. Nos citaron para volver al mes entrante y volver a intentar. Ya que este segundo sonograma era fuera de lo común, me entró un poco la duda, pero no me preocupé demasiado ya que mi doctora no parecía estar consternada. Hace una semana tuvimos el antes mencionado sonograma. Despues de observar el corazón del bebito, la operadora de inmediato se percató de algo que estaba fuera de lo normal. La operadora y la doctora explicaron que el sonograma no mostraba una imagen clara de las cuatro cavidades del corazón de nuestro bebé. La doctora dijo que no debíamos preocuparnos, que podía ser un error de máquina, pero que sería necesario ver a un especialista para llevar a cabo una ecocardiografía fetal para ver más de cerca el corazón. Esta sería básicamente una medida preventiva para descartar cualquier posible problema del corazón.

Nuestra cita con el especialista se programó para el viernes siguiente, una semana más tarde. A pesar de la incertidumbre, Beto y yo sentíamos paz respecto a la cita. Llegó el viernes y la hora llevar a cabo la ecocardiografía. El diagnóstico fue casi inmediato. Nuestro dulce bebito tiene síndrome del corazón izquierdo hipoplásico (SHIC). Se trata de una condición del corazón en la que el lado izquierdo no se desarrolla adecuadamente o deja de crecer en la proporción correcta. Por ahora él se encuentra en el mejor lugar posible. Él sigue creciendo normalmente y todo (a excepción de su corazón) progresa a la perfección. Aunque el lado izquierdo de su corazón no está funcionando, él está a salvo dentro del útero gracias a que la placenta suple a su cuerpo de toda la sangre y oxígeno que necesita. Sin embargo, una vez que nazca, las cosas serán muy diferentes. Una vez que empiece a usar sus pulmones, será necesario que ambos lados de su corazón funcionen para que la sangre fluya a los pulmones y al resto de su cuerpo. Para cuando haya cumplido tres años, nuestro hijo habrá sido sometido a tres cirugías a corazón abierto. La primera de estas se llevara a cabo durante su primera semana de vida. La siguiente será entre los cuatro y nueve meses de eda y la ultima será entre el año y medio y los cuatro años, dependiendo de su desarrollo y crecimiento. Estas cirugías permitirán que el lado derecho de su corazón haga el trabajo de ambos lados. Se colocará un shunt cardíaco que hará posible el flujo de sangre a través de las diferentes partes del corazón, a los pulmones y al resto del cuerpo. La tecnología médica para estas cirugías apenas tiene unos veinte años de existencia, pero ha contado con muy altos niveles de éxito, especialmente aquí en Dallas. Una y otra vez nos han asegurado que estamos en el mejor lugar posible para este tipo de cirugía. Dado que el procedimiento es relativamente nuevo, los pacientes más viejos están apenas en su adolescencia o a principios de sus años veintes. Alrededor de los quince o veinte años de edad, la mayoría de los corazones de estos pacientes se fatigan a causa de la sobrecarga del lado derecho del corazón, lo cual lleva a una falla cardíaca y la necesidad de un transplante de corazón.

Está demás decir que todo esto ha sido un gran golpe. Beto y yo nos sentimos muy agradecidos por el apoyo de nuestros amigos y nuestra familia. Ya desde este fin de semana hemos sentido tanto amor y cariño de parte de quienes nos rodean. Y sabemos que nos hará falta aun más en los meses por venir. Al sentarme aquí y escribir estas palabras, lo que más deseo es despertar y descubrir que todo esto no ha sido más que una terrible pesadilla, que no es real, que todos nuestros planes y nuestras expectativas como nuevos padres no incluirán tantos obstáculos tan grandes. Estamos esperando un milagro. Esperando que en alguna de tantas citas médicas de aquí al nacimiento revelen que el corazoncito de nuestro hijo está sano, entero, y restablecido. Agradecemos profundamente sus pensamientos y oraciones. Las necesitamos desesperadamente.

Posted in: Personal.

49 Responses to Hoping for a Miracle | Esperando un Milagro

  1. Sherry says:

    O sweet Lindsey & dear Beto….
    I will certainly be praying for the miracle that we know God is capable of performing!
    I am so sorry you are having to go through this very anxious and stressful time. Try to rest in Him and KNOW that He has you and your precious angel in His hands.
    Much love to you!!!
    XO

  2. Brittni Austin says:

    I am overwhelmed by your emotion & honesty in this post. I’m heartbroken for the emotions I know you & Beto have been dealing with. I am praying for all three of you right this moment and McCauley & I will continue to do so. I’m joining in your prayer for a miracle but I know God will give you strength no matter the outcome.

  3. Stephanie says:

    The verse that is in my heart as I’m praying for you, Beto, and baby Moreno: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Phil 4:4-7

    We love you and are believing for a miracle with you!

    Ben & Steph

  4. Susy says:

    Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from heaven above, with wisdom, power, and love. I love you three very very much and I’m praying for you fervently.

  5. Cindy says:

    Brent and I will stand with you to believe for a miracle. GOD has his hand on this young man’s life and heart. Grace and peace on and over you guys.

  6. Amanda Marie says:

    Lindsey & Beto, praying for the sweet heart of your baby boy, the good Lord never gives you more than you can handle, and He is all over your sweet family in these moments. Many, many prayers for you!!

  7. Miles & Viviana Sherwood says:

    Les compartimos algo que ha cambiado nuestra vida: en el ultimo año hemos tenido dos experiencias muy similares a la que ustedes estan pasando ahora, algo k nos ha sostenido y cambiado la circunstancias y los reportes medicos es una fe solo en el reporte de Dios!! Lo mas fuerte es que solo toma un momentito para tomar la desicion y si en ese momento lo creen TODO es posible!!!! En su boca Dios a dado el poder de la vida , usenla declarando vida sobre ese bebe!!!!! Estamos creyendo junto con ustedes que el poder de Dios se manifestara sobrenaturalmente ante los reportes medicos!!!!!!!!!!! No es una esperanza de que ojala alto pase, es una seguridad de el poder manifiesto de Dios sobre sus vidas!
    Con amor y un fuerte abrazo Miles & Viviana Sherwood

  8. Candi says:

    Praying for you and Beto to have peace as you lean hard on the Lord in this time, knowing that the more you lean, the more of His strength you have. And of course praying for your sweet boy. <3

  9. Eliel y Debbie says:

    Dear Beto and Linsey,

    Your precious baby is in our prayers. We love you and we know our God can make a miracle happen.

  10. Laura & Casey says:

    Words cannot express how sorry we are that you are going through this. We are glad your baby boy is safe and sound for now and otherwise developing as needed. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your little one.

  11. Chrys + Ben says:

    Believing that this will be used as a testimony and for the glory of God to be revealed in your lives!

  12. Sue Cramer says:

    I will be praying for your sweet boy. He’s in the Father’s hands.
    Lamentations 3:22-23
    Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
    Hugs,
    Sue
    (friend of your moms)

  13. Kathy Wright says:

    Hello family,

    Just know that some blogging friends of your momma’s, Lindsay, are praying. I am joining with you in praying for a miracle. I have a clear picture of a much, much stronger Lindsay and Beto in my heart……a transformation of sorts in your own hearts as God strengthens the core of the both of you. Strengthening through hardship is not something I intentionally choose, but I know this is going to be the end result. You both, and your little son, are so very loved. I’m comforted that this is not outside of God’s eyesight. He is with you, and uses the prayers and love of many to hold you up. He is able to take you through this, and He will.

    I pray that His peace will serve as a guard to the door of your hearts in a wonderful and loving Fatherly way.

    Kathy

  14. Hannah says:

    Lindsey & Beto,

    Josh and I have been covering you guys in prayer since Friday when you told us. Our hearts are aching for you and we can only imagine the grief, frustration, and confusion you guys are experiencing right now. This little one is so loved by many already! We will continue to pray for a peace that surpasses all understanding and that God will work a miracle in baby Moreno’s heart. We serve a mighty and big God! What a story baby Moreno will have to share. Love you guys tons and are amazed at your honest and raw post — you’re amazing!

    love,
    hannah.

  15. Mark says:

    Really praying and believing for a miracle. God is able.

  16. Wow!
    Thank you guys so much for these painful and vulnerable words. Coryn and I will definitely be in constant prayer for you and your little man and we;re so thankful to be a small part of this community of support!

  17. Abby W. says:

    Sweet Lindsey and Beto! I will be praying for a miracle for you and your baby boy. I got a little teary reading this on my way to work this morning, wanting you to not have to experience this, but thanking God that you have so much love and support around you.

  18. Beto & Linds, My heart breaks for you. I know you must feel helpless right now, but our God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine! I just prayed for you and your sweet little boy and will continue to do so. Thank you for the privilege of praying for/with you. Love from Florida! Lyndsay

  19. Chris says:

    Beto & Lindsey,
    Our prayers are with you for God’s healing of your beautiful son. May your hearts be strengthened and your soul sustained & refreshed by His Spirit as you put your hope in Him.
    Know that we are always available to help – Love, Chris & Maria

  20. Rachel says:

    Praying always. Love you guys so so so much.

  21. Rochelle Dozeman says:

    Oh Lindsey my heart goes out to you guys and your little one on the way. God knows this child and has knit him in your womb for a purpose. Joining you and others in praying for a miracle that we know God can do, but HE will use this little man to bring Glory to him and draw others closer to Him no matter what. This sweet miracle is already touching peoples lives and hearts. Prayers continually being lifted up for you and strength for the journey!

  22. Heather says:

    Thinking of you and Beto and baby daily. We are here for whatever you need. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are feeling, but I am hurting for you and at the same time hopeful that we will witness the power of God’s healing.

    Love you three so much!
    (David and Heather)

  23. Bekah Wallace says:

    Believing a miracle with you!!!

  24. Comeback Creek says:

    We will be keeping you and your little boy in our prayers.

    John & Aliza

  25. Hey Guys I am so so sorry to hear this. We will lift all 3 of your up in prayer. If you would like to speak to someone who has just gone through this same thing please reach out. I have a friend who was just in your shoes. Her nearly 1 year old has had a couple open heart surgeries now and still has his 3rd one to go. He is a thriving beautiful little boy and doing wonderful!

  26. Humza Yasin says:

    Your sweet boy will be the miracle of god. You guys will be in my prayers and I want you guys to know that nothing is out of the realm of possibility. Pray and have faith and you will see that he will do just fine. Medical technology is evolving and getting better by the day. In 20 years you never know they may be able to come up with something else.

    Have faith and in the months and years ahead, remember you guys are not alone, there is a whole community here with you and for you to lean on.

  27. You both have a million prayers sent from me. You will grow up to have a strong/brave baby boy. I wish you the best.

  28. Stefanie says:

    Praying that the peace that surpasses all understanding would be very real to you both. My heart is grieving with you both, but also trusting that the Lord will use this for His purposes. Sending a huge hug your way!!

  29. Yvonne Ketchum says:

    My prayers are with you and your family. I am friends with your dad at HMI and he is so proud of you and worries also, he keeps us updated all the time , Love to you Both!

  30. I don’t know you, but I know how strong the photographer community is and know that we are praying for you. You have support and if you need anything professionally there are many of us who will and can help anyway possible. I don’t know your grief, your worry, your pain, but I do know that there is hope and that God has a plan! May you have strength as you face trials and grace when you both rise and fall with them.

  31. Lety Moreno says:

    Queridos Beto y Lindsey, sólo puedo deciles que les amo con toda mi alma y que estaré pidiendo al Señor que se manifiesye con poder y muestre Su gloria y misericordia en la vida de su bebé. Yo creo firmemente que nuestro Dios, es un Dios de milagros. Yo he experimentado Su poder en mi vida y yo sé que el ama a los niños! Ustedes sólo confíen en El, que todavía está en Su trono y esperen en El. Nahúm 1:7 Jehová es bueno, fortaleza en el día de la angustia y conoce a los que en él confían. Dios les bendiga y fortalezca su fe en El que todo lo puede.

  32. Adrienne says:

    Hi Lindsey and Beto,
    I am praying for you guys and your sweet little boy…for God’s continued peace and comfort on you guys, His healing hand on your son’s physical heart, and for hope and joy for you three as you fall more and more in love with each other with each new day! Praying for your miracle!!!!
    Love,
    Ade
    xoxox

  33. Lance Buckley says:

    I can actually say, I know how you feel. My sister gave birth to Heath Aaron Naumann on 09/14/2012, he to, was diagnosed with HLHS. You are already ahead of the game, because you already know. The biggest problem, and this is why you don’t want to google HLHS, is that HLHS went undiagnosed until birth so the stats are outdated and skewed. Children’s in Dallas is the best place to be for your son’s little heart. The Norwood Procedure is almost considered “routine” for them. Your family will be in my prayers, and feel free to ask me anything!

  34. Jessica says:

    I am so sad to hear this. As a photographer in DFW who has followed your work for some time and being sixteen weeks pregnant myself….this hits home. I will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers and I so hope that everything turns out well for your family.

  35. Lacy says:

    So sorry to hear of this! I will be praying for healing and gods strength to walk through this!

  36. Missy says:

    Just wanted to let you know that you have been constantly on my heart since I read this post. Know that Aunt Missy in Florida is praying for you, Beto and your sweet boy non-stop. God is always faithful to provide what you need…be it a miracle, joy, peace, or strength. He’s got this! xoxo

  37. Jenna says:

    I will be praying for Beckham, Lindsey! Crazier things have happened and we serve a God of miracles. I will be praying for complete healing and restoration of his heart before birth!

  38. Ilse & JC says:

    Lindsey, Beto and Baby,

    I was reading through my newsfeed late last night while I was having trouble sleeping and I saw this post. My heart goes out to your growing family. JC and I recently found out we are expecting also. We are not due until April and have only shared the news with close family and friends. We are nervous and excited at the same time for our little miracle to arrive. I know how I feel everytime I have an appointment and how I feel my body changing everyday. I can only imagine what you all are going through, it’s such and exciting and scary time. Everytime I pray for my little baby, I will be praying for your little guy. Praying for your precious little blessing and for God to give yall strength and hope!

  39. hortensia jaramillo says:

    yo conoci a Beto y a su familia hace algunos años Beto era aun muy jovencito…les tenemos mucho cariño. solo les puedo decir que tenemos un Dios Grande El es el medico de medicos. Dios me sano de un cancér … y hoy tengo una nietecita de un mes y medio cuando mi nuera estaba embarazada al mes el médico dijo que habia una amenaza de aborto a los 15 dias en un examen dijo que ya no habia bebe..le hicieron ultrasonido vaginal. y segun ellos dijeron que ya estaba vacia el útero fue muy triste para todos …..despues de 5 meses otro medico le dijo que si estaba embarazada…fue muy extraño este caso porque fueron como tres medicos que no se dieron cuenta que ahi estaba el bebe….que Dios lo estaba entretejiendo en su vientre …Dios lo estababa formando…es un milagro!!! yo creo que Dios va hacer un milagro en su bebe… me comprometo a estar orando por ustedes y ese milagro de vida…Dios va a restaurar su corazoncito….un fuerte abrazo …Dios los Bendiga

  40. Monica McGee says:

    Both of you and your little man are in our thoughts and prayers. God is good and will take care of him and the both of you!! Keep thinking positive, like you always do!! You have already been blessed with the gift of a baby boy and he can’t wait to meet his parents and start his life as a little Moreno!!!

  41. Lauren says:

    Oh bless you guys. My prayers are with you all. Praying for a miracle as if it were my own child. God is able!

  42. Krysta says:

    Oh no!!! The whole team over here is praying that your little buddy gets strong in there. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help!!

  43. Gina Morreale says:

    Beto and Lindsey, Mimo and I will be praying for baby boy ALL the way! and for both of your hearts, minds, and levels of faith as all of it has already and will continue to be tested.

    May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding be with the both of you in Christ Jesus.

  44. Deborah Newson says:

    20 And suddenly, a woman who had a flow of blood for twelve years came from behind and touched the hem of His garment. 21 For she said to herself, “If only I may touch His garment, I shall be made well.” 22 But Jesus turned around, and when He saw her He said, “Be of good cheer, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And the woman was made well from that hour. Matthew 9 NKJV

    Jeremiah 29:11
    New International Version (NIV)

    11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

  45. Elizabeth Reed says:

    Praying for you and your family. The Lord has a perfect plan for you!

    My best friend was born with HLHS in 1985 and is now a healthy, vibrant 27 year old. She has a wonderful ministry to HLHS families here in Dallas. Email me and I can give you all her contact info.

    Elizabeth Reed

  46. Brenda says:

    Standing in prayer with u for a miracle for baby Beckham. Jeremiah 29:11 – Tears filled my eyes Linds as I read this- Our Jordan was born early at 2 lbs 4oz. God is Faithful! He will be with u guys every step of the way. In Jesus name , we pray for his heart to be healthy and whole. May the blood flow perfectly thru the chambers in Jesus name! Love to u ,Beto and your dear mom and dad! This little guys will have amazing grandparents ! They will be such a good support,as well as your dear sisters. Praying God surrounds u and your family with HIS PEACE .

  47. Tara Thompson says:

    Just a note to say….hello! I would like to encourage you guys…we serve an awesome God! My husband Mickey & I (married 24 yrs this April 8th)…. gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with the same heart defect but also with aortic stenosis in March 1991. Kyle Joseph underwent a heart transplant at Denver Children’s Hospital. The Lord has been a great rescue to us! Kyle has never had any rejection episodes, to date and we give all the glory to God! We have held on to one scrpiture! Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding…but in all your ways look to HIM! Kyle is now 22 years old and is living for The Lord and loves him dearly….we have many many stories but the most important one is…To trust in The Lord no matter what the situation looks like!
    Oh one more sweet thing…his heart is from Huston, Texas!

  48. Blanca says:

    I am a friend of Sergio’s and found out about your amazing journey through him. I can only begin to imagine what you are going through, but you have so much love and support from so many that truly care. I do believe in miracles and will pray that baby Beckham will get through this! Trust in God and you will make it through. God bless you and little Beckham.

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